✰ * º ❛   that 70′s show sentence starters   ❜

‘  you know what your problem is? i’m too good looking.  ’
‘  god, what did you have for breakfast this morning? carnation instant bitch?  ’
‘  oh, is this what we’re gonna do today, we’re gonna fight?  ’
‘  because you’re breaking up the band, yoko!  ’
‘  an apple? where’s my candy, you son of a bitch.  ’
‘  she told me she loves me and then i told her i loved cake…  ’
‘  how’d you’d like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass?  ’
‘  look, if i could run across the beach into my own arms, i would.  ’
‘  you know he never liked phones. he said he could hear voices in ‘em.  ’
‘  when my time comes, i wanna be buried facedown so that anyone who doesn’t like me can kiss my ass.  ’
‘  you know what your problem is? you’re really cute… so no one ever told you to shut your pie hole.  ’
‘  god, we are such the… perfect couple?  ’
‘  you’re cold? well damn, i can’t control the weather!  ’
‘  the gym, or as i like to call it, the institute of things i can’t do.  ’
‘  well, i’d like to help but… not as much as i’d like not to.  ’
‘  don’t put me in your fantasies. i don’t even like being in your real life.  ’
‘  i don’t like people. i like rock n’ roll, sex, and pizza – in that order.  ’
‘  i’m not loving anybody that i’m not legally required to.  ’
‘  and if somebody doesn’t tell me i’m cute in the next five minutes, i’m gonna scream!  ’
‘  don’t hate me because i’m beautiful.  ’
‘  i can’t count on much in this crazy world, but i can always count on you.  ’
‘  i’m going to go out, meet some boys and crush their hearts one by one.  ’
‘  where zen ends, ass kicking begins.  ’
‘  you guys are fighting like cats and whores.  ’
‘  cake is good, but you cannot have sex with cake.  ’
‘  well, my head says no, but my heart says no.  ’
‘  the three true branches of the government are military, corporate, and hollywood.  ’
‘  hey man, if you don’t get caught, everything’s legal.  ’
‘  yeah, but god didn’t see that. i was in my van, and he can’t see through lead.  ’
‘  college is for ugly girls who can’t get modeling contracts.  ’
‘  college is for women who don’t want to marry the first idiot they meet and squeeze out his bastard moron children.  ’
‘  i was never happy. i was just less pissed off.  ’
‘  sometimes when i’m alone, i just love to cuddle.  ’
‘  i have a definite opinion on this… i don’t care.  ’
‘  when he’s unhappy, i know our relationship is in good shape.  ’
‘  all right, sleep tight and don’t let the bedbugs put their foot in your ass.  ’
‘  that’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.  ’
‘  we have some breaking news: i’m toasted.  ’
‘  but i don’t want to go outside. there are people out there.  ’
‘  oh, please. i’m a hot-looking, smooth-talking, frisky-assed son of a bitch.  ’
‘  no, i’m not pouting. that would upset our routine. god knows i wouldn’t want to move in a new direction and accidentally slip in a puddle of fun or anything.  ’
‘  i’ve just decided being sad is a waste of my time.  ’
‘  he called me ugly on the inside and the outside. i’m sorry, but he’s just wrong about the outside part.  ’
‘  i don’t really cook much. i just plan on getting by on my looks.  ’
‘  no, no, no, you just don’t move on from me. i’m like alcohol. you need a twelve-step program to break my smell.  ’
‘  you know, being here under the stars, sitting on the grass makes me really glad i’m not poor.  ’
‘  the person i love the most is me!  ’
‘  i was voted most popular, best legs, and now godmother? what can’t i do?  ’
‘  why am i alone and all of you less attractive people are happy?  ’
‘  it’s better to have loved and loss than to be butt ugly.  ’
‘  okay, i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: everyone loves me.  ’
‘  why get out of bed when you can read about people who got out of bed?  ’
‘  i got a lot of free time. i mainly use it to nap and cry.  ’
‘  i’ll just curl up in the fetal position and think about pancakes.  ’
‘  have you been in bed all day?  ’
‘  last night i only slept like… nine hours.  ’
‘  i pity you because you’re dumb.  ’
‘  responsible people don’t go around getting their nipples twisted.  ’
‘  they want to kill rock n’ roll because they know it makes us horny, man.  ’
‘  i would love car sex… or just sex… or just a car.  ’
‘  no, i don’t feel bad. i don’t feel anything.  ’
‘  man, think about it. we hold information that could crush the very heart and soul of one of our best friends… i live for days like this!  ’
‘  it’s like we’re too old to trick or treat and too young to die.  ’
‘  talking isn’t gonna help me, okay? what’s gonna help me is, like, drinking.  ’
‘  hey, yeah, that’s the worst idea i’ve ever heard!  ’
‘  i wish i was an octopus.  ’
‘  thanks, but i’ve gotta go to sleep because i have a big day of misery ahead of me.  ’
‘  life is too short to spend it with people who annoy you.  ’
‘  well, for your information, i’m already sorry i was ever born.  ’
‘  i don’t have a hickey. i was using a curling iron.  ’
‘  give me a reason why i shouldn’t set you on fire.  ’
‘  i’m a hottie, you’re a nottie.  ’
‘  prison is not an option for me, okay? i can’t pee in front of other people.  ’
‘  man, time really flies when you take two naps a day.  ’
‘  oh, no. now i have to act normal.  ’
‘  oh, i just remembered i can’t loan it to you on account of i hate you.  ’
‘  i’ve been diagnosed with a disease that makes me irresistible to women.  ’
‘  you know what the best thing god ever did was? boobs.  ’
‘  i’m like ketchup. i go good on everything!  ’
‘  when we were about to fool around and i said that i washed my hands, but i really just got done playing with like six dogs.  ’
‘  there’s a rabbit stuck in a tree and i want to return that rabbit to the wild so it can lay its eggs.  ’
‘  if this is about maturity then i want nothing to do with it.  ’
‘  a wedding without a trampoline? that’s crazy talk.  ’
‘  i don’t wanna blink ‘cause i’m afraid to miss even a second of your cuteness.  ’
‘  you seem normal around your family, but out in the real world, you’re kinda nuts.  ’
‘  i could get arrested. i could go to girl prison. this freakin’ rocks!  ’
‘  my parents are fighting all the time and they want me to choose sides, but i can’t because they’re both idiots.  ’
‘  why would sally sell seashells down by the seashore? i mean, that’s a terrible location for a seashell stand.  ’
‘  i’m not strong, but i know a lot of ways to destroy men emotionally.  ’
‘  i don’t have feelings for him. i just hate that bitch for making him happy.  ’
‘  i’m not jealous, i just want to pop that inflatable bitch and watch her fly around the room.  ’
‘  hello, it is me, the object of your desire.  ’
‘  i’m a beautiful girl with a shrill, demanding voice. i’m pretty hard to ignore.  ’
‘  a gold digger is what these idiots call a woman who knows that love eventually wears off, but money is forever.  ’
‘  you see, a more productive use of my time is revenge.  ’
‘  i cannot be held responsible for the things that come out of my mouth.  ’
‘  i don’t answer stupid questions.  ’